How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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