"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
