Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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