Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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