So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
