problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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