Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
