I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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