SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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