Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
