I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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