Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
