Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In other news, I just burned my penis
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
