She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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