apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
