can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize