Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we made out on top of his cat.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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