We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
