We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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