In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My vagina is officially offended.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
