She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
