he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
