the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize