dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He has the fingertips of a God
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