So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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