worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
