Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
