Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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