Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize