you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
