You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
