i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
