Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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