Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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