Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
