You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
