69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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