hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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