My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
