NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
