She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
