everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
