I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
