she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
