I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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