If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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