Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
