The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize