so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
