Dual....:-)
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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