Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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