yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
