so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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