no, he came in my armpit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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