I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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