farters have to be the big spoon...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
