Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
