I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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