ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
