its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
