i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
