Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
