Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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