gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I would ride that face into the sunset
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize